Everyting needs an intro!

I guess it has been some years since I have had a website up. It's difficult when you want to share but the thought of communicating your message imperfectly scares you so much that you never say anything at all. I think that is why the site has been down for so long. I just recently got out of the hospital and, while I have been home for a week, it is difficult to adjust.

Make no mistake, however; this website is for me. It is designed by me for me to be managed by the tools I enjoy using. I am pushing passed the need to perfect this before getting it out there. I am doing a lot to learn about and better myself, actually. I'm in an out-patient program right now which will last another month or so. I'm trying to get back into writing as it's a pretty healthy outlet.

The thing that I don't like about writing, however, is that my thoughts become easy to access. I can spill them out on the page and there is an embarrassing sense of permanence when I do. I do not like to share and often, as many people do, when I return to an idea, I am critical of myself.

I have tried journaling before. Like any piece of important information, I treat the book itself with an almost religious respect. I have heard it said before not to "fall in love with your own ideas." I greatly suffer from this problem, I believe.

Journaling is a great tool, don't get me wrong. I just find it more helpful to express my thoughts in other ways, through other mediums. I intend to use this site to express my creativity through my work. While the specific intent of writing this site now is to make public my confessions, I hope to use this space to share more openly the things that drive me, both with others and to myself. I'm certain I will be surprised with what I will learn.

Posted on Sunday, June 17 2018